THE WEAPONS OF EVERY SMART LADY
Sammy A. Udekwe
Copyrights ©2020 SAMMY A. udekwe
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be produced, stored in any retrievable system, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author.
ISBN: 978 - 978 - 3329 - 3 - 3
Author's contact: 07017707351
samudekwe07@gmail.com
Please tell me what you think about this work - I look forward to getting comments and constructive criticism from ladies, parents, teachers and mentors to improve subsequent editions. Please kindly contact the Author on samudekwe07@gmail.com
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About the book
This book "the weapons of every smart lady" might not be the best book ever for young ladies, but it is an inspiration to young ladies everywhere in world, who want to ‘spread her wings and soar’.
The book will go a long way to assist young ladies who is already eager to change their world and positively impact their generation through thier words and works.
About the Author
Sammy A. Udekwe is an African son of the soil, a creative writer, who delights so much in using ink and paper as a medium of contributing his quota to the mental maturity of humanity.
He advanced his intellectual prowess in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka: In Educational Political Science.
He believes the fact that, with burning desire for positivity and determination to achieve that, every lady is a nation.
Dedication
To The Holy Ghost
Dear pal,
I here by recognize the fact that there is a Spirit in me which gives me understanding; the breath of the Most High: to whom my works should be dedicated to. I shall remain yours affectionate,
Sammy A. Udekwe
Acknowledgement
My special appreciation goes to certain individuals whose names could have been first on this list but it is not visibly written.
I thank God for my father, Joseph Udekwe - who can not read or write but made it to produce a creative writer.
My most sincere appreciation goes to my loving mother, Ngozi Faith Udekwe - your wise words and care have ever been my crown of glory.
I want to recognize Roseline Okeke (Nne Raph) who left this world before us to answer the call of nature. Your legacy remains in every life you touched.
My special regard also goes to my Uncle and as well, my foster father "Daddy Christopher .O. Arinze."
I appreciate in a very honourable way: Chiamaka Precious Onwuama, Ekwulugwo Veronica Ebele, Mr & Mrs John .O. Ebatu.
I want to appreciate my readers in a special way. There is joy putting ink on paper when I remember my potential readers. I vehemently believe that this work became a success because of you.
Aware of the impact these following distinguished personalities, I am grateful, humble and well pleased to use their names to grace the closure of this page: The Almighty Misfits Family (My Reading Group), Okeke Ebuka Paul, Ogbuji Chinecherem God'stime, Ojorbo R. Kosisochukwu, U. B. Chinaza, Uzochukwu Martha C.
CONTENT
NB: this work is being released by series, from series A to Z
Series A. (Introduction).............,.........................
Smart Lady Defined
Who is a lady?
Synonyms of Lady
the concept "smart"
Analysis of a smart
The Profile of the Ideal Smart Ladies
The bottom line
Series B. (Tears is a weapon)..................................
Dress Defined
What is weapon of smart dressing all about?
Looking sharp and Why?
What is the emphasis here?
Functions of Clothing
INTRODUCTION
A SMART LADY DEFINED
It's important to look into some vital matters before we discuss the weapons of every smart lady in details. We should consider who a smart lady is and list some smart ladies in the world.
Who is a lady?
The concept "lady" has been viewed in different perspective by different people. To some, lady is:
A woman of breeding or higher class, a woman of authority.
To another, lady is the feminine of lord.
To another, lady is a woman of high social standing or refinement, especially when viewed as dignified or well-mannered.
To another, lady is a title for someone married to a lord.
To another, lady is a title for somebody married to a gentleman.
To another, lady is a title that can be used instead of the formal terms of marchioness, countess, viscountess or baroness.
To another, lady is a polite term referring to a woman.
To another, lady is an affectionate term for one's wife or girlfriend.
Synonyms of Lady
gentlewoman, duchess, noble, dame, baroness, countess, aristocrat, viscountess, noblewoman, peeress.
Key note: In our context, we are viewing the concept "lady" in line with the second perspective of a lady above - Lady is a woman of high social standing or refinement, especially when viewed as dignified or well-mannered.
Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.” (Anonymous)
The bottom line is that a lady is not a girl or mere woman.
Let us also consider the concept "smart".
Smart means what?
According to merriam-webster's dictionary, smart is having or showing a high degree of mental ability : INTELLIGENT, BRIGHT.
Thus, one can say that: a smart lady is a woman of high social standing or refinement, especially when viewed as dignified or well-mannered, that has or shows a high degree of mental ability : INTELLIGENT or BRIGHT.
Analysis of a smart
A smart lady is a gift to her generation and a great treasure to her husband, her children are blessed because happy will be her home. You don't claim smart lady by mere pinging, there are certain qualities that qualifies a female "smart lady". Smart Ladies are those ones whose impact have engraved their footprints in the sand of time, be they young or old. These are females who have taken it upon themselves to effect the change they want to see. There are three major kinds of females today - The first set of females are those who do not know what is happening around them. They don't have any dream or ambition. The second are the spectators; they know what is happening around them by watching events, celebrating many celebrities across the globe and equally make arguments in comparison of celebrities. They are always on social media, chatting and whiling away their precious twenty-four hours that worth thousands of dollars to some people. They enriched the rich and impoverished themselves the more. They know all trending fashion, lastest car models but they can not have those things; they'll tell you their ideal husband and home, they have very big dreams but will never wake up to achieve them. They use the money they don't have to buy things they don't need, to impress those guys that do not want them. The third set of females are those making impact in their categories. They are:
Problem solvers
Visionaries
Motivators
Planners
Organizers
Achievers
Ladies of ability
Submissive and teachable ladies.
Think about this: What type of a lady are you?
The Profile of the Ideal Smart Ladies
There are attributes expected of ideal smart ladies. If you are ready to enter the world of smart ladies, here are some vital tips to keep in mind. Smart ladies are:
Disciplined Ladies: Smart Ladies are focused on their vision, and eliminate any hindrances or distraction to their goals. They have great strategy and tactics to achieve their dreams. They make daily efforts towards realization of their target. They don't do things because others are doing.
There is a story I came across from social media, I believe you can understand the difference between smart ladies and girls or mere women. Read this lady's write up, her identity is hidden for a reason:
"Good morning sir. Please post for me & hide my I'd, Am 27years old lady. I really want to seltel down this year, cause in my community is seems like am the only one remain unmarried among all my mates & friends, earlier this year I met a man who showed interest in me, said he love me and what to marry me ,he truly loves me , but the problem is that I hate smoking guys, but this particular guy smokes a lot , drink a lot , he can smoke igboo for d whole Africa he called it SK, drinks every moment, but well to do ,he takes care of me like no man have even don before, I complained about his smoking and drinking habit , he said he will stop it if I gree to marry him, if I tell him smokes are liable to die Young, he will tell me if I no die u come and kill me now, Everytime his driving neither he drinks hero on his car or hot drinks, if I complain he will say , he know what his doing , have I ever see or hear that he had an accident before, if l no drink I will no see clear he said. but his caring giving me what I want showering me gifts, everyday flexing , he said am the one delaying the marriage if I can say yes today tomorrow he will go pay bride prize ,b/c his no longer a kid his above 30something + but has small body, am confused here whether to marry him or not ,I seriously want to marry, am not happy about staying single anymore, advice me please if your in my shoes what will you do?"
My joy about the above article is that she sought for advice, because is really a babish mentality. She didn't know what she really wants because a smart lady has reasons for something and to do because others are doing.
Self Starters Ladies: Smart Ladies know that if something needs to be done, they should start it themselves. They are very proactive.
Determined Ladies: They are determined to make everything positively possible to succeed in all their endeavours, even if they seem to have failed, they try over and over again until they surely succeeded.
Passionate Ladies: Smart ladies are driven primarily by a need for achievement and burning desire to make a maximum and meaningful impact. Passion and persistence are unique traits of every smart lady.
Read this:
A smart lady started her acting career as a child actor in the then-popular television soap opera Ripples at the age of 8. In 1998, at the age of 19, she was introduced into the growing Nigerian film industry with the movie Most Wanted . Her subsequent movies include Last Party, Mark of the Beast, and Ijele . In 2010, she starred in the award-winning film Ijé: The Journey. She has starred in over 200 Nollywood movies.
In 2004, she signed a recording contract with
EKB Records, a Ghanaian record label, and released her debut album One Logologo Line . It is a mix of R&B , Hip-Hop , and Urban music . In 2004, she was with the most votes after contending with other celebrities for the search for the face of Lux in 2004.
In 2005, she won the Africa Movie Academy Award (AMAA) for Best Actress in a Leading Role, becoming the first actor to win the award.
As of 2009, she was one of the best-paid female actors in Nollywood . Due to her contributions to the Nigerian movie industry, she became the first actor to be awarded Best Actress at the 2001 City Peoples Awards, the award ceremony that previously had only recognized politicians and business conglomerates. She was also the first actor to be awarded as Best Actress by the Censors Board of Nigeria in 2003. In 2009, she was referred to as the Julia Roberts of Africa by Oprah Winfrey .
In November 2015, she produced her first movie called Road to Yesterday , later winning Best Movie Overall-West Africa at the 2016 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards .
In January 2018, it was reported that she would be replacing Funke Akindele as a member of the Dora Milaje in Marvel's Avengers: Infinity War . This was later debunked as an internet prank and the actor did not appear in the movie.
On 7 September 2018, her directorial debut Lionheart was acquired by online streaming service Netflix , making it the first Netflix original film from Nigeria. The movie had its world premiere at the 2018 Toronto International Film Festival , alongside Farming , the Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's autobiographical directorial debut where she starred in alongside Kate Beckinsale, Damson Idris, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw.
.There maybe one thousand and one things I may not like about her but there's something to like about her. She is a very strong girl and women activist. She advocates for Nigerian girls to be able to have a say in who they choose to marry. She is against early marriages for the girl child. She is strongly against abuse of women in society. Genevieve says she is a strong advocate for social justice. Further, she is a strong feminist. She states her type of feminism is the woman who has the right to make her own choices and do whatever she feels like.
NB: It pays to be a smart lady...
The bottom line
There is another suitable and simple way to define a smart lady. If someone ask you: who is a smart lady? Without much grammar or stress, you can accurately define her by simply saying that a smart is "an eagle" (final ful-stop). Why? The following leadership qualities that men of higher intellectual have identified in the life of the bird called eagle is inherent in life of every smart lady. Let us view some of those qualities:
1. Eagles fly Alone and at High Altitudes:
If you want to fly low, you are allowed to befriend fowl. If you want to fly higher, it is prohibited to associate with little birds. Whosoever that want to fly higher should befriend eagle.
What is my inferences? Smart Ladies always stay away from myopic-minded people, those that brings their morale down. Eagle flies with Eagles and not the other way around. Keep company with like minded people, those that visualize success and put their best efforts to actualize it.
2. Eagles have an Accurate Vision:
The ability to focus on vision, without losing focus by anything thing is one of the major difference between nobles and nonentities. There could be obstacles, 5km away from an eagle's target but may not be able to make the eagle to lose focus. The eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. Make your passion and vision a prey, don't move focus until you grab them.
My dear friend, Chinecherem God'stime said and I quote; "you are not called to do everything, you are called to do one thing.
That is purpose. You are rewarded for one purpose." Do not be the “Jack of all trades, master of none”. Do not just know what you want to become in life (ambition) but actually know what you are called to do (purpose and destiny) and work towards it. Do not follow another lady’s vision, pursue your vision by your own mission. If successful ladies around you are mostly people in entertainment industry, you must not be one of the people in that industry unless you are called there. If you copy another lady's vision, the most you can only achieve is second. Smart Ladies, follow their God-given vision.
3. Eagles Love the Storm and smart Ladies do:
The era has come and gone ladies were addressed as olili aku (meaning, eater of wealth) in Igbo land. We are now in the era where, ladies are now okpata aku (meaning, accumulator of wealth). When challenges of life surface itself like storm, a smart lady embrace it, face the challenges courage, knowing that these will make her stronger and better than everyone; just like the eagle uses the storms wind to lift itself higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagle uses the raging storm to lift itself above the clouds. The prayer of every wise lady is to see opportunities in every obstacles.
4. Eagles Prepare for Training, so do smart ladies:
Smart Ladies are ever ready to leave their Comfort Zone in preparation to get where they were actually called to be, just like eagles, they usually remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young ones get uncomfortable in preparation for flying and eventually flies when it becomes too unbearable to stay in the nest any longer.
5. When Eagle Grows Old, Her Retires to a Place Far Away to Renew His Strength, So Do Smart Ladies Renew Their Strength:
Create room for strength renewal, "even the strength of youth will grow weary ". In the nature of the eagle, when her feathers become weak that she cannot fly as fast and as high as she should. This makes her weak and could equally kill her. She usually pass through a very bloody and painful process of plucking out the weak feathers on her body and breaks its beaks and claws against the rocks until he is completely bare. Then she stays in this hiding place until she has grown new feathers, new beaks and claws and then he comes out flying and soaring higher once more. Always carve out some time to strength yourself by go for holidays for physical rest. Physical rest is necessary; "rest is a weapon" according to Alexander the Great. Attend enriching seminars, workshops and conferences for spiritual and mental empowerment and renewal.
Weapons of every smart lady - Series b
Weapon of dressing smart
Content:
Dress Defined
What is weapon of smart dressing all about?
Looking sharp and Why?
What is the emphasis here?
Functions of Clothing
Dressing is one weapon of a smart lady. As a lady: "You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." —Edith Head
Dress Defined:
Dress has been viewed in this context, as the totality of the arrangement of the outward detectable modifications of the body itself and all material objects attached to it. By implications, dress is not limited to clothing, but equally all accessories, hairstyles, and any other alterations made to the body, wether temporary or otherwise.
What is weapon of dressing all about?
Weapon of dressing smart is all about the benefits and reasons to dress well. Dressing smart will always get you ahead.
"What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language." —Miuccia Prada
Ladies who dress well get the nod over those with no sense of fashion. It crucial to understand that a good number of guys have no sense of fashion, yet they expected that a lady should have. Ladies who are seen as sharp dressers are perceived as smarter and more attractive. You can afford a nice wardrobe on a low budget if you avoid brand names. The purpose ties into always expecting that you are going to find love.
Look Sharp, Be Sharp: Why? The Clothes You Wear Change What People Hear You Say.
Stay well groomed: Even a perfect outfit can end up looking shabby. "Looking good isn’t self-importance; it’s self-respect.” – Charles Hix. As a lady, you should ensure that your hair is in place and your hands and feet well neatly kept. When you master the weapon of dressing smart, you will be always welcomed anyway and anytime. The truth is clear that if you are careless about the way you dress, you are likely going to present a book image of yourself. The negative bounce back of careless dressing is that , the person usually misses opportunities that may come her way. Understanding that first impression matters and your outward beauty is first beheld before the inner, will help to do good in looking good. Most people you are meeting for the first time usually evaluate your worth simply based on your outward appearance, not minding your excellent certificate and valuables you may possess. "Good clothes open all doors." - Thomas Fuller. Thus, a smart lady should be knowledgeable about fashion and equip herself with the skill of dressing smart. Note: knowledge of fashion here does not connotes following trends. Infact, I want to know if I can surprise you with this applied fact that, the real smart ladies do not follow trends. They're trendsetters. Every real smart lady respond to fashion differently because they understand that everybody has her own personal style. Asked yourself, ever since dressing patterns have been changing as days burn into months and years, who are the people that set those trends that others are following. There was a time people wore baggy but later shift to slim fit. That was the product of trendsetters. This point should not be overemphasized.
Whether you intend to acquire a top job, get out of a traffic ticket, or launch a worldwide movement, the way you dress and present yourself will play a major role. "Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they notice the woman." —Coco Chanel.
"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." —Edith Head
Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak. —Rachel Zoe
"Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself." —Oscar de la Renta
"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life." —Bill Cunningham
Why do we emphasis on dressing smart as a weapon for every smart lady. The truth is that virtually every lady wants to be a person of influence, which is pretty cool. I want to underscore that the first principle of influence is attraction. You don't influence who you don't attract. This point is very paramount to most born again Christian sisters. Looking good or smart is not in anyway a sin. Infact, I want to establish the fact that looking smart makes your holiness and righteousness more gracious than you can imagine. It is pitiable uncalled for that some ladies out there are looking very unattractive in the name of born-againism (excuse my jargon - born-againism). Sorry! If I am messing up your theological Intelligence in anyway, but the truth should be told. I am an advocate of decency and modesty and equally a lover of good things.
Esther was a queen and a lady of good reputation in the scripture. One of the two ladies that two books in the Holy Christian Book was named after (Esther and Ruth).
I don't think that Esther Successfully made to emerge as a queen in the midst of other ladies without having a special kind of attraction. The scripture recorded that Esther obtained favour in the sight of the all the people that looked upon her. Another suitable way to put that statement is that Esther attracted all the people that looked upon her. That's to say that she attracted the king likewise the other peoples. Ladies should know that there are outfits that attract queens to kings. Equally, there are attires that attract prostitutes to whoever wants them. If you are a potential queen, dress smart to attract a king. If you are a harlot, you can do better to dress nude to attract your potential customers. Nevertheless, I wish that you choose to be a queen and dress like one.
It's regretful and very painful to say that some of the beloved Bible readers and preachers have gradually and psychologically downgraded the vitality of dressing smart in the life of a lady, to the parameter that some myopic minded Christian sisters have successfully crowned themselves miss and Mrs unattractive, in the name of holiness.
See this scripture (1peter 3:3-4):
"Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God very precious." (World English Bible)
"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." (King James Version)
What is the emphasis here?
The outer and inner beauty is vital essential in the life of any lady. The outer beauty was what attracted Esther to the king, remember that they have lived together before to know the inward beauty (character) of Esther; but what sustained her as a queen was the inner beauty. That's the difference between Esther and the former queen "Vashti". Vashti was also attracted to the king, outwardly but the inner beauty was what she lacks, and that was what disqualified her from been queen. The important out outward look is as important as the inward. Does dressing smart connotes moving naked along the street, seducing men? NO! Cover your nakedness very well, which one of the primary reason for clothing, but remember to look smart in that dress because good looking is a charming weapon. "Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked at all times.” —Betsey Johnson
I remembered my University days at this point: A female friend said while we were among ourselves, "don't mind Paul, Samuel and God'stime, these are the kind of people that will tell their Christian sisters to be dressing anyhow (meaning - unattractive) and they will go and marry good looking ladies who kept themselves smart." She was referring to me and my two male christian friends. I personally welcomed her statement with sweet smile because she just shifted a little from the truth. I tell no one to dress anyhow and unattractive. That's where she got it quite wrong, but I always love to go with something smart; I truly know well that my friends equally does.
There is fairly nothing evil in using natural hair products and style your hair so that it appears neat and nice. A lady should have a well-groomed physical appearance because it a part if not the first impression. A smart lady, always ensure that you clean up your hair and trim your nails so that they look charming superb. A lady should be applying deodorant or perfume as a matter of daily routine. However, too much perfume or deodorant is not encouraged. Moderation is always vital in every aspect of life. Smart ladies don't dress to kill, as some girls thought, smart actually dress to impress; even in casual environment. Put on dress that is comfortable and presentable to the occasion of the day.
That reminds my primitive days, when I used to wear wedding dress to church and church clothes for school.
Please, your attire as a lady should be suitable to the occasion of the day. One of my lecturer said that there's nothing like indecent dressing that what we have is improper dressing. I actually believe his statement to a reasonable extent based on his reasons. He stressed that, the dressing you called indecent in the church may not be called decent in swimming pool or bedroom. Thus, let your attire match the occasion of the day.
Note: you must not over spend by going for High-end brands when you do not have enough money to purchase them, in order to look good. "Don't be into trends. Don't make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live." —Gianni Versace. High-end brands can get you attractive but they are not absolutely necessary. Buy the best quality you can afford and try to upgrade as time goes on.
Don't over do make up, if you are type that likes make up. "Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who's wearing it." —Yves Saint Laurent. Remember that moderation is a weapon. Don't overdress or underdress. Actually, most times, it is better to slightly overdressed than underdressed, because you can easily adjust if you feel like you overdressed by simply and stylishly put off somethings to look a bit casual. Iron your clothes. Wrinkles on your clothing can stand out like eyesore and counteract all the effort you put into your appearance to look smart.
As a point of closure, I want us to note basic functions of dress or clothing.
Functions of Clothing
Dress has been an important feature of all human societies. Obviously, dress has the primary function of providing protection and warmth, more especially, those that lives in the cold climates. Away from providing protection and warmth - dress equally serves many other purposes, which includes but not limited to:
Communicating our identity to others. Culturally speaking, indeed, dress has the capability to showcase our identity. No wonder they said, "you are addressed the way you dress. Thus, we should ensure that our dress does not misrepresent us. Do not say, it's not all about dress; we know! But please, we assume that what we are seeing outside is what is inside until you prove us wrong beyond reason doubt.
Modesty is another vital essence of dress. Though, modesty varies from one social system to another over the course of time. Taking Muslim social system for instance, both men and women cover most of the body in public, as do people in many other social system. Nevertheless, in other societal culture exposure of various parts of the body may not matter. It's encouraged that we should dress modestly, more especially, the ladies. Note: Wearing dress is also a social norm , and being deprived of dress in front of others may be embarrassing. In most parts of the world, not wearing clothes in public so that genitals, breasts or buttocks are visible could be considered indecent exposure at the highest degree.
Beauty/attraction/ seduction are also involved in the purpose of dress. It's disheartening to recall that some people dress to seduce. The primary reason most people dress is because they want to look attractive, regarding to some certain circumstances. Better still, what is considered attractive or beautiful to one may not be to another, because, one man's food can be another man's poison; because they said that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. "I want people to see the dress, but focus on the woman." —Vera Wang
Ceremony can be considered as another purpose of dress. In most ceremony, people has specialized forms of dress reserved for certain occasions; such as wedding attire, or cultural day dress.
Fashion or style is equally one of the reasons that drives dress in some people's lives. Fashion, most commonly, refers as the prevailing style of dress at any given time, in a particular place, which is characterized by change. "Fashion is very important. It is life-enhancing and, like everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well.” —Vivienne Westwood. One can argue that what motivates and guide some people's dress is the passion to follow trending fashion.
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